How to Make Friends Online as an Adult (A Practical Guide)

• Shared interests come first. Online, you can find people who love the same niche hobby, wherever they live.
• Less pressure. Starting with a chat is easier than walking up to someone at an event.
• More chances. You can have several conversations in an evening and see who you click with.
• Friends across the world. Some of the most interesting friendships are with people from completely different places.

Interest communities

Forums, Discord servers and online groups built around a hobby are a great start, because you already have something to talk about.

Group chat rooms

Topic-based chat rooms let you join an ongoing conversation. On TalkKiwi you can read the group rooms about music, gaming, movies, sports, tech, travel, anime, books and language exchange, and sign in free to post.

Random chat with interest matching

One-on-one random chat sounds like a long shot, but interest matching changes that. Add a topic before you start, and you are paired with someone who chose the same. Try text chat to ease in, voice chat for a more personal feel, or video chat for face to face.

1. Be curious. Ask open questions and follow up on the answers. People remember those who listen.
2. Share something real. Friendship grows when both people open up a little.
3. Find your common ground. A favourite band, game, show or city gives you a reason to talk again.
4. Make the next step easy. On TalkKiwi, if you both press Add friend during a chat, you become friends and can message and call each other later. Nobody can add you on their own.
5. Follow up soon. Send a message a day or two later about something you talked about.
6. Be patient. Most chats will not become friendships, and that is fine. The ones that do are worth it.

• A good opener instead of “hi”. See our questions to ask strangers.
• A good mood. Positivity is contagious, even through a screen.
• Respect. Nobody returns to a conversation where they felt judged or pressured.
• Consistency. Showing up and replying builds trust.

Online friendships can be wonderful, but take care, especially early on:

• Keep personal details private until you know someone well: your address, workplace, school and social media.
• Never send money to someone you have only met online, whatever the reason.
• Watch for warning signs: pressure to move to another app, requests for photos, or stories that end in a request for help.
• If you meet in person, choose a busy public place, tell a friend where you are going and arrange your own transport.

Our Safety Centre has more advice.

The best time to make a new friend is the next conversation you start. Add an interest, say hello, and see where it goes. Start a free random chat or browse the group rooms.